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Sailor Moon vs... TV?, fan fiction written by Boymeetsworld89. Click here to go back to the main fan fiction page.

(In Raye's room at her temple-Cherry Hill Temple-Serena & Raye are sitting on the bed. Amy, Lita, & Mina are sitting around the table. Luna is in Serena's lap and Artimus is on Mina's shoulder)

Amy- Look guys. (She slaps down the “Tokyo News” newspaper, advertising a new movie 0n the front page) Why don't we go see this new movie?

(Mina & Lita look at the paper)

Mina- Hey, yeah, I heard about this. It just came out yesterday- and the first viewing had 2 million viewers. They had to use 6 theaters just to fit everyone. I-

(Lita cuts her off)

Lita- I hear it's really good, but on all the commercials previewing it they only talk about it, they never show any scenes from it. It's supposed to be-

(Mina cuts her off-purposely)

Mina- (harshly) Thanks for finishing my sentence, Lita.

Lita- Oops, sorry.

Raye- It's about us- the Sailor Scouts.

Amy- Yes, but they don't know our identities, so I guess the actors are dressed like Sailor Scouts throughout the whole show. But still it should be really good.

Serena- Hey, this is so totally cool. Let's go see it. Ya know I never heard about this movie for some reason.

Raye- That reason shouldn't be hard to figure out (harshly stares at Serena). You're-

(Serena cuts Raye off and goes right up to Raye to yell at her)

Serena- (angrily) What is that supposed to mean?

Raye- It' supposed to mean that you're always in some sort of a daze, you're always out of it. So, it's no wonder you didn't hear about it, even though it's been the talk of Tokyo, no the talk of Japan, for over 2 months now. (Serena and Raye start killing each other now).

Serena- Hey, I resent that. You're-

(Luna cuts her off)

Luna- (yelling) Don't you two even start!

(Serena and Raye stare at Luna and then back away from each other)

Raye- Anyway, for some odd reason they named it “Sailor Moon.”

Serena- Way cool, a movie all about me!- Wait a minute- odd?

Mina- Oh no, Please don't.

Lita- Here we go again.

Raye- Yes- odd. The movie's about all of us, why would they, how could they even think, much less name, it after YOU!

Serena- Maybe because I just happen to be the leader and um I'm the strongest and obviously the prettiest and-

(Raye cuts her off)

Raye- What do you mean- prettiest and strongest.

Amy- (yelling) Will you two stop it!

Raye and Serena- (staring at Amy, while at the same time trying to kill each other) Butt out, Amy!!!!

Serena- (to Raye) What are you……... jealous?!

Raye- Me, jealous of you, (laughs-evilly) Yeah, right! You have got to be kidding. Besides, I'm clearly the prettiest of ALL of us!

Serena- You pretty (laughs evilly) You, you look like a a a-

(Luna, Artimus, Amy, Lita, and Mina cut Serena off)

Luna, Artimus, Amy, Lita, Mina- SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

(Raye and Serena stare at all of them blushing)

Raye and Serena- (very embarrassed with their heads down in shame) Sorry!

Amy- Now, let's get to the movie or we'll miss it.

Lita- We might not even get tickets as it is.

Raye and Serena- Yes, Mam.

(at movie theater, waiting for the movie to begin, all 5 girls are in their seats, with Luna and Artimus in Amy's bag)

Amy- I'm surprised we even made it to the movie on time. What with you two (glares at Serena and Raye) fighting so much

Mina- yeah, we could hardly even get you two out of Raye's room!

Serena- (who's sitting next to Raye) Well if somebody wouldn't have been jealous of the movie being named after me (glares at Raye).

(Serena & Raye start attacking each other AGAIN as the movie starts, they start yelling louder and louder)

Amy- Oh, here we go.

Luna- Not AGAIN!

Lita & Mina- Guys don't.

Raye- I wasn't jealous, I was just ……. (she can't think of what to say and so she pauses for a minute)………..upset. That's all. Plus you were being way too self-absorbed and bratty and-

(Serena cuts her off)

Serena- Upset-Ha. You were as jealous as can be and I'm not se-

(Serena is cut off by a movie attendant)

Movie Attendant- Excuse me, Miss, but could you kindly be quiet and (looks toward Raye as both Serena and Raye start blushing) you too. We're getting complaints from other viewers, who actually want to watch the show; if you can't keep quiet- (very harshly) WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO THROW YOU OUT. (polite again) Thank You for your cooperation and have a Good Day. (he walks off)

(Raye and Serena are very red and embarrassed)

Serena- Well he didn't have to be so mean about it.

Raye- Yeah, he was totally rude. And at first he was nice and polite, then he got like evil, he was way out of line. Don't you think?

Serena- Absolutely. Way out of line.

Luna- Are you kidding me. I couldn't even hear myself purr. You two were much ruder than him, disrupting everyone like that. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Serena- (moans) Thanks a lot, Luna.

Amy- Just forget about it. Anyway, you guys just proved you can get along, that you don't have to fight all the time.

Raye and Serena- What do you mean?

Amy- You guys just agreed on something, you agreed that the attendant was rude, even if that was totally wrong, but anyway you still agreed.

Raye- I didn't even realize that. I don't want to agree with Her (looks toward Serena with a mean stare).

Serena- Well I don't want to agree with you either. So there.

Raye- And why not, I'm the perfect one of the two, you're just just well I don't what you are but you're not allowed to disagree with me, I can only disagree with you. (she looks away from Serena) Hmm.

Serena- Yeah Well-

(she is cut off by Luna, Artimus, Mina, Lita, and Amy)

Luna, Artimus, Amy, Lita, & Mina- (yelling) Don't even think about starting. Just drop it.

Audience in theater- (all looking toward the 5 girls- they don't see Luna & Artimus since they're cats and in a bag) Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(All 5 girls and Luna and Artimus are very very red and obviously embarrassed. They all sit down and are quiet to watch the rest of the movie which began 15 minutes ago)

(Movie: Sailor Moon, Mercury, Mars Jupiter, Venus, Mini Moon, and Tuxedo Mask are all being attacked by an evil villain named “Kaorbidie”. They are losing very badly.)

Tuxedo Mask- I will throw a little rose and maybe Kaorbidie will blow up (he throws the puniest rose anyone has ever seen) POW. Oh no it did not work. (he runs away scared)

Mars- Let me try. Mars Flame Sniper Attack. (a puny little fireball 1cm in diameter flies from her fingers and misses Kaorbidie) Oh well I guess I need to work on it. (she skips off)

Mercury- My turn. Mercury Bubbles Blast. (she blows bubbles from a little container and they all pop) Wow, in practice they always made it more than 6 inches. (she skips off)

Venus- Me next Me Next. Venus Love and Beauty Shock (she blows a kiss and then skips away)

Kaorbidie- Oh someone loves me, how sweet. (she blasts the 3 remaining scouts and they fall to the ground) Got Ya!

Jupiter- Not Quite. Jupiter Oak Evolution (she throws oak tree leaves) Oh look how pretty! (she skips off)

Kaorbidie- I can't believe how weak and stupid these Sailors are.

Moon and Mini Moon- You haven't dealt with us yet.

Mini Moon- Crystal Twinkle Bell (she rings a bell) What a pretty sound.

Moon- Moon Gorgeous Meditation. (she blasts a tiny power ball from a little wand and it misses Kaorbidie) Oh no we have lost.

Kaorbidie- They're pathetic. (She blasts Sailor Moon & Sailor Mini Moon and then they run off crying) That was too easy.

(Kaorbidie takes over the world)

The End

(they all exit the movie theater and before talking go back to Raye's room so as not to disturb anyone)

Serena- (very, very, very angrily) That was THE absolute worst movie I have ever seen!

Raye- I know, they totally ruined our reputations.

Lita- They made us look like wimps.

Mina- With weak little powers that really, except for Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars, weren't even powers to begin with.

Serena- And those outfits.

Raye- They didn't even look like ours.

Lita- I can't believe people like that movie.

Amy- I wonder why anyone would want to make us look so bad.

Serena- I say we sue them.

Amy- No, we can't do that we don't even know why they made a movie like that. We'd have to go to court with it, as Sailor Scouts too, not as our regular selves anyway. Otherwise we would reveal our identities.

Lita- Besides we'd need evidence. (looks at Serena and says sarcastically) And we don't happen to have any.

Serena- Well, I don't care. I'm going to go straight down there and give them a piece of my mind. SUPER MOON CRISIS POWER! (she transforms)

(the others look at each other and shrug their shoulders)

Amy- MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!

Raye- MARS CRYSTAL POWER!

Lita- JUPITER CRYSTAL POWER!

Mina- VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!

(they all transform)

(at exactly this moment a pink cloud appears at the ceiling of Raye's room and all 5 Sailors turn to look. Rini, who's been in the future for the past 6 weeks, falls from the cloud and lands on Sailor Moon, who falls to the ground)

Sailor Moon- Get off of me you little brat.

Rini- Oh So- (sees everyone transformed as she gets off Super Sailor Moon) Hey where are all of you going, what's wrong?

Moon- Just transform, trust me you'll want to. We'll explain on the way.

Rini- Oh, OK, if you say so. SUPER MOON CRISIS POWER!

M.Moon- Ok, so what's the problem?

Moon- Just follow us. We'll explain everything.

(on the way to the production studio)

Moon- Ok, so there's this new movie “Sailor Moon”-

(M.Moon cuts her off)

M.Moon- Hey why is it named after you?

Mars- That's what I said.

Mercury- M.Moon, Don't get them started. They've been fighting the whole day, even at the movie theater.

M.Moon- OK, so, anyway, what's the problem?

Jupiter- All 6 of us plus Tuxedo Mask are in this movie, OK, anyway the producers don't know our identities so the actors are dressed like Sailor Scouts the whole time.

M.Moon- I still don't see the problem.

Moon- To make a long story short the outfits don't look anything like ours, we appear as wimpy fools who are defeated by a dumb villain, only me and Mars actually have powers, even though they're pathetic, like yours for instance, you just ring a little bell and Venus blows a kiss and stuff like that, we all say stupid little things and everyone one of us runs away from Kaorbidie.

M.Moon- Kaorbidie?

Mars- That's the villain they made up.

Venus- In the end, we lose and Kaorbidie takes over the world.

Mercury- The producers made us look like weaklings and we're on our way to find out why. Oh, and by the way this is the #1 movie in Japan right now. At its first viewing it had 2 million viewers.

M.Moon- (with a puzzled look on her face) That makes absolutely no sense, but OK.

(they arrive at the studio and barge in)

(they go directly to the producer, Mr. Wakatuchi, who is drinking coffee with his feet up on the desk, his assistant, Miss Kiloki, is standing next to him)

Mr. Wakatuchi- (spits out his coffee when they barge in) What is the meaning of this, Who are You? Security, Security! (he pushes a little red button on his desk and 5 Security Guards come in)

Mr.Wakatuchi- ( to security guards) Take care of them, please.

Moon- (looks toward Venus) Venus?!

Venus- I'm on it. VENUS LOVE CHAIN ENCIRCLE! (all 5 guards are chained up against the wall)

Miss Kiloki- (whispers something into Mr.Wakatuchi's ear)

Mr.Wakatuchi- (angrily) What?! You're the Sailor Scouts?!?

Moon- You got it. I'm Sailor Moon

M.Moon- Sailor Mini Moon

Mercury- Sailor Mercury

Mars- Sailor Mars

Jupiter- Sailor Jupiter

Venus- and last but not least Sailor Venus.

Scouts- And we're the Sailor Scouts.

Moon- (makes her Sailor Moon evil villain speech)

Mars- (hits Sailor Moon in the back and knocks her down) You're not supposed to say that to him, he's not an enemy.

Moon- Oh Right, I forgot. (she gets back up and the other 5 Scouts are embarrassed by her but quickly get over it when they remember what they came for)

Mercury- Why did you make a movie that made us look like fools.

Mars- Yeah, and ruined our reputations.

Moon- I'm going to sue you for everything you've got.

Mars- (knocks Sailor Moon down to the ground AGAIN) No, you're not. And if you can't say the right thing then just be quiet.

Moon- (moans) Ohh. Can't you just leave me alone. (she starts to cry and once again all the Scouts are embarrassed)

Mars- Will you stop crying, you big baby?!

Moon- Why do you have to be so mean?!

Mercury- Guys stop fighting.

Jupiter- (to Mr.Wakatuchi) Can we just forget about that? Now why did you make that movie?

Mr.Wakatuchi- Simple, I needed to make a popular movie and I figured-Sailor Scouts, they would be the perfect topic for my movie. Anyone would pay to see a movie about them. But, then I thought the Sailor Scouts always win their battles, everyone likes their clothes and their powers. Everyone would know they'd win at the end so why would they pay to see it. So, I had to make you look bad so people would pay to see it.

Mercury- But how would people know we didn't win if you never showed any scenes from the movie on the preview?

Mr.Wakatuchi- Correction, YOU never saw any scenes, but everyone else in Japan DID.

Mars- What are you talking about?

Mr.Wakatuchi- I made it so that only you Scouts didn't see those scenes, I didn't want you to stop me from airing the movie.

Jupiter- But, in order to do that you would have to-

Mr.Wakatuchi- Exactly, Lita, I know all of your identities. I've been watching you.

Mars- I'm getting a bad feeling here.

Miss Kiloki- Well you should be. (she transforms into a monster)

Moon- I don't think this is good.

Mars- Really, what gave you that idea.

Mr.Wakatuchi- Get them, Kiloki.

Kiloki- You got it, Boss.

(Kiloki attacks the Sailors)

Jupiter- Incredible power. Oak Evolution. (she gets a direct hit but barely wounds Kiloki)

Mars- Let me give it a try. Mars Flame Shooter.

(Kiloki, who has quickly recovered from from Jupiter's attack, Dodges Mars's Fire)

Mercury- Mercury Aqua Rhapsody (again Kiloki dodges the attack)

Venus- My turn. Venus Love `n' Beauty Shock (this attack hits Kiloki but again, like with Jupiter's attack, Kiloki quickly recovers)

M.Moon- Crystal Twinkle Bell (this wounds Kiloki and she doesn't recover, but she is still very strong)

Moon- Moon Gorgeous Meditation (this really wounds Kiloki and though she doesn't recover she's still pretty strong)

Mercury- Why don't we try the Sailor Planet Attack?

Mars- Great idea!

Moon- Perfect. MOON CRYSTAL POWER!

Mercury- MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!

Mars- MARS CRYSTAL POWER!

Jupiter- JUPITER CRYSTAL POWER!

Venus- VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!

Sailor Scouts- SAILOR PLANET ATTACK!!!!!

Moon- Got Her!!!

(Kiloki is destroyed and Mr.Wakatuchi runs off scared)

Mercury- I don't think we'll ever see him again.

Moon- Thank Goodness! Although, I could have easily defeated him, just like I defeated Kiloki. I-

(she is cut off by Mars)

Mars- You beat Kiloki? What are you talking about? (Moon and Mars start attacking each other again) We all beat Kiloki!

Moon- Yeah, but my attack hurt the most, YOURS didn't even hit her. Maybe you should work on your aim.

Mercury, M.Moon, Venus, Jupiter, Luna, & Artimus- Here we go again!

Mars- My AIM doesn't need any work (she shoots a small fire ball at Sailor Moon and it hits) See, my aim's perfect.

Moon- Ooooh. What did you do that for. Are you trying to fry me?

Mars- I was just trying to prove that my aim is just fine and that you're the weak one, you couldn't even get away from my fireball.

Moon- I just didn't think that you would actually fire it at me.

Mars- So why don't you fire an attack at me, hmm?

Moon- I don't want to hurt you.

Mars- Go ahead. I dare you.

Moon- Fine, I will. MOON TIARA MAGIC! (she hits Mars with this attack)

(they keep going back and forth with their attacks)

M.Moon- You guys aren't supposed to attack each other, you're supposed to attack enemies.

Moon- There aren't any right now. Besides this is a perfect practice opportunity. Anyway, BUTT OUT RINI!!!

Jupiter- So, who wants to go to my house for cake?

M.Moon, Venus, Mercury- Me, but don't tell them (point to Moon & Mars) about it!

(they all laugh)

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